Do I Even Still have Milk?

The breastfeeding struggle is real. This sweet little baby who has been so cute and content most of his life is now extra attached. Needing to be on you at all times, nursing at all times of the day and night. Then the second you pop him off your breast, he begins to scream again.

Your nipples feel raw, your breasts feel empty and you wonder: “do I even still have any milk?” Feeling like you cannot possibly have any more breastmilk left to give. Feeling like a failure because surely they are so hungry and you don’t have the milk to give them.

Your friends, your family, your spouse tells you that you need to supplement, that you need to put him down and let him cry it out. Only making you feel worse. Your nerves are shot. You feel increasingly touched out and exhausted. You are not alone.

You are not alone.

This is me, this is my life. Breastfeeding and holding my new son as we watch a movie with my toddler to help her be included. Exhausted, run down and touched out. I love this life, but that doesn't mean it is easy.

Just yesterday I felt this exactly this. I was so angry, exhausted, touched out and wondering if I should just thaw out some of my stored milk to get him full because he could not possibly be getting any more milk while breastfeeding. My husband didn’t understand and my daughter just wanted love from her mama - making me all the more touched out.

On the verge of tears I reached out in one of my favorite facebook groups for breastfeeding and was quickly reminded: This. Is. Normal. I have all the milk he needs. I am all he wants. And I am not a failure.

See there are days and weeks that babies go through a particular growth spurt either mentally or physically and they need more from you. Hetty Van de Rijt refers to these as wonder weeks.

When you need a minute with baby not breastfeeding you can always try other methods of soothing them. Walking, bouncing and shooshing are some common ways for this. 

I was reminded that my son just needs me. He doesn’t yet know that he is separate from me. I was reminded that I have been his only home for the last 10 months and all he wants is his mama.

Babies do not nurse only for nutrition and to feel full. They nurse to feel comfort, to feel connected, because they are scared, or hurt, or lonely. They nurse because they want attention and or they are tired or they are cold. They nurse to have you.

Then I was reminded again that it is okay to put him down for a short break. I was reminded that it is okay to ask for help, that I am not alone in this journey. These weeks help him to grow, and they help us strengthen our bond, and they help me produce even more milk in the weeks to come.

Babywearing can be a lifesaver for motherhood. Especially for breastfeeding during big spurts and cluster feeds. You get the closeness of mom and baby and both arms when you need them.

My best advice is to ask for help, from friends or family and even online communities such as facebook moms or breastfeeding groups. Remember that this is 100% normal and that as long as your baby's diapers look good, that they are doing just fine. Make sure your baby is safe and take a few minutes to shower or to cook a meal. Babywearing can be a lifesaver and there are tons of resources on where to learn how to do this safely. Slow down, the housework can wait. Your baby is only going to be this little today. Snuggle them and rock them. You cannot spoil a baby. Love them and give yourself a break. You got this mama, nurse on.

If you enjoyed this blog, I would love for you to sign up for the Miracle Kisses Newsletter below.