18 Things no one told you about being a stay at home mom

I’m not here to say that no one should be a stay at home mom, or that there won’t be moments in every single day that will light up your life in a way you didn’t know was possible. I am just here, putting into words, the way us stay at home moms feel. I am here to say that it is okay when in your mind you beg for just five minutes alone. You are not alone momma.

1.       You will be with children 24 a day, 7 days a week. Sure we all know that when we say we want to stay home. But let that sink in for a minute. You will cease to pee, shower, eat, or sleep without someone right next to you wanting something else from you.  

2.       Kids cry – like a lot. From the day they are born, until… well I’ll let you know when they stop… they need something or flat just cry for, well any reason. Just this morning my toddler was screaming because I put the wrong clothes on her.

3.       You may cry. All the emotions and stress and screaming baby, toddler, child may build up and you may cry. By yourself in the bathroom or even with your child.

4.       If you have more than one kid, they don’t sleep at the same time. Inevitably as soon as you get one little to sleep the other will wake up. Sometimes you will think both will sleep together but then one will wake up and then wake the other one so they are both cranky.

5.       You may become a home body. It becomes easier to just stay home than go to, well, anything. Between nap and bed times, feeding them and frankly just getting dressed. It becomes very easy to cancel plans or not make them at all.

6.       Adult conversations are a thing of the past. It is pretty likely that you will forget how to have an intellectual conversation for a while. Especially as even the simplest of phone calls become a huge chore of screaming in your friends’ ear and then forgetting what you were talking about.

7.       You may not get dressed for days. Let’s face it, as long as the kids are fed and happy who knows when the last time you showered was?

8.       You may feel guilty for wanting to spend time or money on yourself. Many stay at home moms are used to bringing in their own money and not thinking twice when they stop at Starbucks. But once you lose that income and your significant other is bringing in all of the money, it may become hard to even want a haircut or a candle.

9.       Significant others don’t understand. They have long, bad days at work (even if they like their job) and come home tired and wanting dinner. They don’t often understand why you look like you haven’t slept in days when you get to “sit on the couch all day.”

10.   Your house will never be clean again. No matter how hard you try, there will always be something that needs to be done, something that is not clean or put away.

11.   Your days will run together. Who knows what day it is when you haven’t left the house in days?

12.   Deja vu is a daily occurrence. When you do the same dishes, pick up the same laundry, discipline your child for doing the same bad thing day in and day out, it gets really easy to think, “I have done this before,” because well, you have.

13.   You will be lonely. I know it seems counterintuitive because you are always with someone, but the feeling of being alone is shared by many stay at home moms. Not to mention you may feel like you are the only one who feels this way about being with their children. Often not talking to friends or our significant other about the things that bother us – or worse having them not understand and putting you down in some way.

14.   Your TV will never leave Disney Junior. Okay pick the station for you, and sure your TV may not be on all the time but it will seem like you never have control of the remote.

15.   You will be exhausted – all the time. Even on the days you get a few hours of sleep, you will be exhausted. From your daily task list of course, but also from the constant movement and sound in your home.

16.   Your body will hurt. Aside from the physical carrying of your children, and taking care of them your body also has to endure laundry, dishes, vacuuming (assuming you can find the floor), making beds, cleaning up toys, making dinner… it hurts.

17.   You may develop depression, anxiety or insomnia to name a few. This is a deep one but very true. Sure our hormones from having our babies and feeding our babies take a role in this. But it goes much past that. The lack of calm, the high stress and tension, the loneliness. We all cry some days. Find a friend or some true help if you think you need it.

18.   You will lose them in your own house. While you make dinner or sneak into the bathroom your child will sneak off. You know when the house is quiet they are doing something they shouldn’t or somewhere they shouldn’t but that doesn’t help you find them.

Was there anything I left out? Feel free to share how else stay at home moms feel in the comments.