Day Two | Kim's Journey | Breastfeeding in Broomfield
All throughout my pregnancy I knew I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. We went to all of the labor and delivery classes and knew that keeping a flexible birthing plan would be critical, but I hadn’t anticipated needing a flexible breastfeeding plan. I had a perfect pregnancy -- no morning sickness or swelling, baby was thriving and I actually enjoyed being pregnant. I hadn’t expected to, after 36 hours of labor once my water broke, to be rushed in for an urgent c-section in order to protect my baby from any additional birthing stress. She arrived just as the pregnancy had been - perfect. We didn’t have to lose the Golden Hour where my new baby would have skin-to-skin following birth, and she latched on right away. I thought we were on a good start with breastfeeding, but I was once again going to learn the importance of the flexibility - I had to succumb to during delivery. My milk hadn’t come in, and my new daughter was losing weight quickly.
The nurses in the recovery ward were the first support we had. They brought in a pump and told me how to feed, pump and have my husband bottle feed. The slow arrival of my milk was a problem though, and despite the nurses’ guidance, and daily meetings with an IBCLC (International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant) my daughter lost 10.5% of her birth weight and was at severe risk of jaundice. Because of the risk of jaundice and continued weight loss, we were offered donor milk to help bridge the gap between my supply and what our baby needed. She slowly started to gain weight, and four days after she was born, we were on our way home.
Triple feeding continued at home, and the exhaustion of feeding every two hours then pumping then starting over again was quite honestly harder than labor. You have a tiny being in your arms completely dependent on you to nourish her, and I cried so many times feeling like I was starving her. Triple feeding, trying to sleep, triple feeding repeat.
We started to go to a weekly breastfeeding support group to get help from an IBCLC and other new moms who all had similar stories. I celebrated each 4 oz gain, then quickly realizing that 4 oz gain was falling short of the desired 7 oz per week gain for a newborn. The IBCLCs never gave up hope in me and gave me so much advice. The meetings became a staple in our routine. It was not only a chance to get help with breastfeeding and understanding my newborn, but it also was a community.
We tried craniosacral therapy to help my daughter loosen her mouth and tongue. We used a nipple shield to help my sore, bruised nipples. We tried different positions. Nothing seemed to help. It was about that time when our pediatrician recommended starting formula. I was for a split-second heart-broken. But, I’m also stubborn and when someone tells me I can’t do something, I’ll do my best to prove them wrong. We had a one-on-one consultation scheduled that very afternoon with the IBCLC and I was going to give it one last shot before deciding how to supplement feedings.
She noticed right away that my baby was not happy with the nipple shield. We decided to wean off of it. Baby girl wanted to latch now, and the pain was starting to subside. I was also given non-galactagogue dietary supplements to help increase my milk production (it turns out I didn’t have enough calories in my diet). I was confident that was helping and I was looking forward to the weigh-in at the next support group.
As life usually happens, bad timing strikes. After getting the baby dressed to go to the support group, get her into the car, and ready to pull out of the driveway...the car won’t start. I balled my eyes out over a dead battery. All of the hope and stress of a solid weight gain now somehow depended on my ability to start a car. I felt defeated. Roadside assistance was able to get the car started and we made the last 30 minutes of the group. Just in time to find out that baby girl had gained the desired 7 oz, plus an extra 2 oz for good measure. She was just about 5 weeks old by that time and she had her first good weight gain.
Only a few short weeks later I had to return to work. Return of the pump was not entirely welcome. I’ve realized that there is an emotional connection with having a successful let-down. If I am at all stressed or feel rushed when I try to pump, I cannot get a let-down and the pump only offers an ounce or so. Baby needs 8 oz of breastmilk while I am at work (based on the pace-feeding recommendation of 1-1.25 ounces per hour) so an ounce is not going to provide what she needs. The next time I try to pump, I feel additional pressure and the snowball begins.
I’ve now been able to find ways of relaxing during pumping, and I now understand how my body reacts to the pump to make it easier to bring home what I need for the next day. There is a reason why only 17% of working moms continue to breastfeed through the first birthday. I am determined to be one of the 17%. It’s hard. It’s tiring. It’s hard explaining why you aren’t able to make a meeting at a certain time because you have an appointment with a pumping room that other moms are also vying for the same optimal time slot. You have the fear that baby will start to prefer the bottle over the breast, and you feel that all you do at work is work, pump, work, repeat.
My daughter is now 10 months old. She is a thriving little girl who is now in the 80th percentile in weight for her age. I feel much more confident in our breastfeeding relationship. We still go to the support group, although she is usually the oldest baby in the room I still enjoy going there for the community.
Breastfeeding is hard, but the best things in life are worth working (and sometimes struggling) for -- and our journey is not complete.
Please share an anecdote or give this beautiful mama some encouragement in the comments. Be sure to follow along with the 31 stories that we are sharing this month. And as always, if you would like to share your own story please contact me and we can start planning your perfect session to match your journey.