To the outside world, I have given up so much for this journey. The ability to wear “normal clothes,” a bra completely (because why bother?), the ability to leave my babies more than a few short hours, sleep, so many things….. But…

I want to remember so many things about our breastfeeding journey, from the way she snuggles to fit in the crook of my body while we nurse to sleep, to the way she squishes her face into my boob when she is trying to have it just a little longer.

My breastfeeding journey with my sweet LillyBug, just like our birth story, started much differently than my other stories. When she was born, it seemed as though she would latch ok. But then as bottles and syringes were given to her to help her blood sugars come up, it became apparent that we were going to have a hard time.

To say, I had no idea what this pregnancy would bring would be an understatement. After loosing my third pregnancy due to an incompetent cervix, we needed some intervention in the form of a cergage to keep my healthy babies baking longer.

Here is a raw, honest, vulnerable post about my anxiety to take a pregnancy test.

“But then it dawned on me, most of you don’t know me or ‘my why:’ my reason that this career and this specialty mean so much to me. So I wanted to share it with all of you. Whoever is listening. “